THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE From the Pastor’s Pen—By Pastor Don Johnston
I'm writing this article just a few days before our 33rd wedding anniversary. Jenni and I were married on May 25, 1974, but statistically, more couples have been married in June than in any other month. Marriage, like other traditional family values, has fallen on hard times in the last few decades. It has been misused, misunderstood, misaligned, and some have declared it irrelevant or attempted to redefine it. There's an old saying, “When all else fails, read the instructions”! Let us consult the Manual” and see what the Bible has to say about marriage.
1. The Designer- Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper comparable to him'.” According to scripture, God is the designer of marriage and the family. If something isn't working, He is the One to consult.
2. The Design- From God's Word, we know He had 3 main things in mind for marriage:
A) Companionship- God said, “It is not good that man should be alone”. The first purpose for marriage is to have a lifelong companion to combat loneliness. The exception to this is those who have the gift of singleness, but marriage is God's general plan for the majority. Most need a companion with whom to share life and love.
B) Comradeship- God said, “I will make a /helper/ comparable to him”. The Lord knows that most of us need someone to help us meet our daily challenges along the way. This principle is stated in Eccl. 4:9, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”
C) Children- God told Adam and Eve, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it...”(Gen. 1:28). With the exceptions of those who are single, or couples who are unable to have children, it is God's plan for those who are married to have children for the continuation of humanity and the benefit of the world. From those who believe in Him, God desires “godly offspring”, (Malachi 2:15).
3. The Definition- As we read Scripture (the “Manual”), God's definition of marriage would be, “The union of a man and a woman in a loving, lifelong relationship. (see Gen. 2:24 & Mark 10:6-9). My Webster’s Dictionary defines marriage as “The institution under which a man and a woman become legally united on a permanent basis”.
4. The Description- The Bible is very specific about how it describes marriage. Here are 6 qualities that God intends for marriage.
A) It is Particular- Scripture clearly describes marriage as a relationship between one man and one woman. That debunks any devious ideas that would allow for polygamy or homosexuality.
B) It is to be a Priority- The Bible says that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined (cleave) unto his wife”. After marriage, one's greatest earthly allegiance and priority is transferred to their spouse, and from that day on, they will be the most important person on earth to them.
C) It is to be Permanent- God's plan is for the man and woman to be permanently joined together until death. Mark 10:9 says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate”. Romans 7:2 says, “The woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives, but if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.”
D) It is Profound- Mark 10:8 says, “And the two shall become one flesh”. There is no closer relationship on earth than the joining of a husband and wife in marriage. There is a precious physical, emotional and spiritual union that is so intimate and mysterious that Scripture uses it to illustrate the precious and eternal union between Christ and His body, the Church (Ephesians 5:22-23).
E) It is to be kept Pure- The Bible teaches that each spouse has a solemn duty to stay faithful to each other. Exodus 20:14 says, “You shall not commit adultery”. Hebrews 13:4 says, Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”. As far as God is concerned (and no other opinion matters), the only place for “safe sex” is within the bonds and boundary of holy matrimony.
F) It should be Pleasurable- The Scripture says in Proverbs 5:18, “Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth”. God intends for us to enjoy our marriage relationship in every way. Again, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord”, ( Prov. 18:22).
Unfortunately, many do not respect God as the designer of marriage or the Bible as our manual for living. Consequently, many marriages fail or limp along pitifully, and many families are dysfunctional or have been painfully dismantled, leaving many broken hearts and shattered lives.
May God help us to get back to the Bible and carefully consult His manual for living. Christ loves us and has given us everything we need for life and godliness. Marriage should not be a political football, but a social and spiritual foundation upon which we can build solid homes, successful churches and strong communities. May we who know the truth, practice and proclaim it unashamedly for God's glory, our good and the gospel's furtherance.
“O give us homes built firm upon the Savior,
where Christ is Head and Counselor and Guide;
Where every child is taught His love and favor,
and gives his heart to Christ the Crucified:
How sweet to know that tho' his footsteps waver,
His faithful Lord is walking by his side!
O give us homes with godly fathers, mothers;
who always place their hope and trust in Him;
Whose tender patience turmoil never bothers,
whose calm and courage trouble cannot dim;
A home where each finds joy in serving others,
and love still shines, tho' days be dark and grim.
O give us homes where Christ is Lord and Master,
the Bible read, the precious hymns still sung;
Where prayer comes first in peace or in disaster,
and praise is natural speech to every tongue;
Where mountains move before a faith that's vaster,
and Christ sufficient is for old and young.”
-Barbara B. Hart